Nearing the end?

DH and I have been discussing how to handle the situation with his family, namely the lack of connection and support I've felt the past 6 months. Of course I have the option to just change my expectations but I've come to rely on MIL for so many things. I value our relationship so much and I simply cannot resign myself to the fact that we're going to have a merely polite relationship.

I've compiled a list - a combination of various articles and blog posts- that touches on the key things I think would be helpful for DH and I. I'm terrified to pass it along because I don't want to be criticized for it. I'd be making myself very vulnerable by sharing it. And the scariest possible outcome is that it goes completely unacknowledged.

During our discussion on how this might be best handled DH said, "we're nearing the end of trying to conceive..." He's never said that before and now I feel a whole new wave of grief and hopelessness wash over me. It breaks my heart into a million pieces to think this journey really might end without a pregnancy and the birth of our baby.

I feel like a failure as wife. I feel forgotten by my loved ones. I feel a crushing, paralyzing sense of sorrow...

"Worn"

Tenth Avenue North 

I’m Tired I’m worn

My heart is heavy

From the work it takes

To keep on breathing

I’ve made mistakes

I’ve let my hope fail

My soul feels crushed

By the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart

That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up

But I'm too weak

Life just won’t let up

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart

That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause I’m worn

My prayers are wearing thin

Yeah, I’m worn

Even before the day begins

Yeah, I’m worn

I’ve lost my will to fight

I’m worn

So, heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart

That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn

Though I’m worn

Yeah I’m worn