Stress Reduction?!?!

If one more doctor tells me I need to reduce my stress....!!!!! What in the world I am supposed to do? I already take the best care of myself I can. I make time for prayer. I go to spiritual direction, therapy, take care of my physical health, I avoid over-committing myself, I have a job that I love that is rewarding and gives me a reason to look forward to tomorrow, I spend time with friends, do things I enjoy, etc, etc, etc.

My life is pretty un-stressful in the grand scheme of things- except of course the issue of infertility which I have little control over. I do everything in my power to handle it the best I can- reaching out to you-this amazing blogging community, prayer, talking to friends, therapy.

I am all for self-improvement, for responding the best you can to the cards you've been dealt. I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do to de-stress anymore. 

Does anyone else feel perpetually annoyed by this suggestion???? Am I crazy???

And just FYI so this post doesn't seem totally pointless and annoying- the doc did shed some light on my high Reverse T3. She said R T3 is like the breaks on a car. It's telling my body to stop doing things that aren't essential for survival because I'm in chronic stress overload or fight-or-flight. She said that's why I'm responding with such extreme anxiety to the T3 supplement, because my body's trying to tell me to focus on something else. But what? 

The Magic Blanket

I have lots and lots of trouble sleeping. If you've read my other posts you may have noticed. I have always relied on B.enadryl to fall asleep and a few months ago- after years of me asking doctors if it could cause problems with fertility- a nurse at PPVI told me it could interfere with fertile CM. So...I've been trying to eliminate that and have been relying on L.unesta the past couple of months. L.unesta is not meant to be used long term but I'm trying to fight one battle at a time. And I can't really fight if I'm not sleeping so... stopping the L.unesta will have to wait. I've tried all the natural sleeping remedies, some help, some don't, some make the restlessness worse but I have finally found a miracle solution! The 'Magic Blanket.'

The 'Magic Blanket' is a weighted blanket- filled with a bean like material. Mine weighs 12 pounds but they recommend different weights depending on your own height and weight. According to their website- and this is common knowledge among Occupational Therapists- weighted blankets can cause the brain to release more serotonin and dopamine. "These neurotransmitters have calming effects which have proven to be beneficial for people experiencing sensory integration disorder, anxiety, stress, Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and Rett Syndrome.  It's important to note that The Magic Blanket is not a substitute for care from an occupational therapist or mental health professional."

I am telling you this blanket works wonders! I have never slept so deeply. I've never felt so refreshed during the day. For the first time that I can remember, my brain doesn't feel foggy and my bones don't feel tired and achey. I am in heaven!  I definitely recommend this for anyone with sleep issues, anxiety, etc. 

I saw an Occupational Therapist about a year and a half ago for an assessment. I've always had an extremely limited diet. I've subsisted mostly on various forms of bread and cheese for the majority of my life. Eventually, my husband's knowledgeable aunt, suggested we see an OT for an assessment and possible treatment. I was diagnosed with 'Sensory Defensiveness-' a form of Sensory Processing Disorder. I highly recommend taking a few minutes to read about it, as 1 in 20 people have some form SPD. There are many little changes those SPD can make that can drastically improve quality of life. It's especially important that children with SPD get a diagnosis, as SPD can cause distress in nearly every area of life, leading to low self-esteem and depression.  SPD makes the anti-inflammatory diet especially challenging for me so I've temporarily given up on that. But maybe with this newfound energy from actually sleeping, I'll be able to focus on the diet:-). 

Physical pain relieved, spiritual pain increases

Surgery left me with more pain than I was expecting and I ended up on a high dose of narcotics for a month or so. Stopping the pain pills was a challenge of its own. Thanks be to God, I never developed a psychological addiction to the medication but I did develop a physical dependence on it. When I stopped taking it- despite my efforts to gradually reduce the dose- I developed withdrawal symptoms. I barley slept for 7-10 days, I had a racing heart, restless legs- essentially I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack for over a week. I did some research on the neurochemistry of narcotic withdrawals and it seems the symptoms are caused by an excess of norepinephrine, which plays a key role in the body's fight or flight response. This would explain my panicky feelings. The week spent getting through the withdrawal was hell. As a mental health professional, I like to think I have empathy for those struggling with addiction, but this experience undoubtedly gave me a new perspective. I realized I am very guilty of taking the struggles of those dealing with addiction for granted. I've been quick to blame addiction on a moral failing or a lack of will power. Though addiction is a complex problem, the physical component is very real and very powerful. The severity of withdrawal symptoms is related to the length of time the substance was used, and the time I was on narcotics was relatively short. I cannot imagine dealing with more intense symptoms than what I experienced. I found myself thinking, "I completely understand why people take their own lives." It was that bad. And I know it is a million times worse for so many others. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I wanted the terrible feeling of my heart and mind racing to stop and there was little to nothing I could do about it. My doctor did agree to prescribe Clonidine- a medication commonly used to curb the anxiety caused by opioid withdrawal- but lucky me, the medication only increased my symptoms. I am finally feeling better and very grateful for it, but I'm struggling with feeling as though I've come unglued. Throughout the struggles of the past month, I've neglected my prayer life. I feel guilty and overwhelmed by the degree to which I've failed. I know God brought me through this struggle but I don't understand why God is allowing me to feel so spiritually discouraged right now...